Quiet week on the home front. Tomorrow is painting day so expect to hopefully see some photos tomorrow and find out how that went. The only thing I really did house wise this week was mounting the compass rose art work on the downstairs landing. One unique note, it actually is oriented properly so if you ever get lost in the house you’ll know which way West is for instance. Elsewhere I also mudded and sanded the studio wall a little more. We have two bonus gallons of paint since we changed our minds on one of the colors so we’ll use those in my office and studio. And I sold the Nest thermostat on eBay for $185, recouping most of what I paid for it.
We are super busy working on the art front as well….applying to shows, working on art and whatnot. I don’t really relax anymore. I think that ability was a casualty of building the house, regular work and trying to do the art thing. But during the 3 minutes of rest I sneaked in after work (and before dinner)…as I lay there trying not to lose my mind with the boys pushed trucks, yelling up and down the hallway, I realized turning this place into a home instead of a house is a multi-pronged approach. The paint and some nice arty touches are going to definitely help, but the laughs and yells of playing little boys are absorbed by these walls around me. And while you can’t see them, or hear them (unless thing one and two are here when you’re here) they are there adding warmth, history and a sense of place to what was virtually lifeless, even just a year ago. Long after we’re gone, and they’re gone I honestly believe that if you were to walk these halls, with their faded walls and dusty corners….close your eyes…open your mind…this house will let you hear them again.
I’m pissing away a ton of hours and money, maybe fool heartily but it’ll be nice and a lot more relaxing. Realistically I want to get this paint on the walls to warm the place up a bit. Then I MUST get my storage designed and built (by yours truly) in my studio. On the art front the new website is up and running nicely (so I don’t have to worry ’bout that). My office area is almost done (I can get organized). I may actually be able to enjoy February, working on art, start relaxing and get back to chasing these kids around. Who knows maybe I’ll add my own laugh or two to these not so old walls. A lot of people will say I don’t have to do it all at once, but for me I kinda do. Call my therapist if you need an explanation. Meanwhile I’ll keep plugging away, getting “to do” list monkeys off my back. We lived in limbo for ten years in the old house, not decorating or having a lot of projects waiting in the wings. We loved that house but frankly I kinda want to get over these projects and start enjoying it. And Spring will be here before we know it; with that will be outdoor projects (hint: she wants to raise bees, I want a fully functioning, self-sustaining, micro farm).
Life is brutally finite, I see no viable reason to wait, leave things unsaid or put off much of anything. Each day is a treasure…a gem. Every moment worth savoring. Will I get burnt out? I doubt it. The last two years have built up my tolerance and strength, like a weight lifter in a gym. And the wife has been a huge help, keeping everyone grounded as a mom and teammate. Will I go broke? Most definitely but like a good friend of mine said, you’ll always be broke when you have a family but one way or another you find a way and things work out…even if it’s month to month at times. Will it be worth it? I think so. The process is therapeutic. I’ve learned a lot. Made mistakes. Did one or two things right. There are a couple of people who still talk to me so not all is lost.
Fundamentally we’re headed in some direction; we’re sailing at the very least. Short term I definitely know (painting tomorrow for example). Long term who the hell knows….do any of us really know. Ultimately how much control do we really have. Life happens. Getting lost makes it worth living.
Worst case scenario, I can always walk downstairs and I’ll know which way West is.
That’s a start.