Randomness

Ok it’s random Friday post day.  My brain and mental condition is fried so the result is a big pile of randomness.  Without further ado here are my ramblings for a Friday night, whilst I sip my (first) Bud Light Lime of the night.

Four year old kids, or at least my four-year old kid, pretty much talk every waking minute.  I can sit in my office and he’ll rattle on for a good ten minutes before I realize he’s actually talking to me.  It may be bad parenting but there’s no way I can humanly process the steady stream of information spewing from his cute toothy grin.  They say sharks have to keep swimming to survive. The same apparently goes for kids and talking.  And no, closing the pocket door on my home office has no apparent effect.

Crappy photo but you get the idea.  This is the view from my office everyday.  I look up from my drawing board and see deer walking by.  In this particular photo the deer on the right is about to poop in my garden.  And no, I did not look away.

Crappy photo but you get the idea. This is the view from my office everyday. I look up from my drawing board and see deer walking by. In this particular photo the deer on the right is about to poop in my garden. And no, I did not look away.

We spent some time after dinner spray painting the paths in the back yard.  We’re pretty happy with the game plan and it’s fairly close to Charles’ original landscape plan.  I’m proud of myself because I kept my OCD at bay and basically eyeballed the plan and created a decent facsimile in with orange paint.

They delivered two truckloads of mulch today, one is playground mulch for the paths, and one is regular eco mulch for the beds.  Plan is to spread all of the playground mulch tomorrow, establishing all of the backyard paths.  The way to do the paths is with stone and whatnot but the mulch is cheap and I can spread it myself without hiring a landscaper.  Long term we can put nice paths in.  For now this will control erosion and allow guests and home occupants alike to move about without getting muddy.

Mmmm black and tan.  The tan pile should be all spread tomorrow.  The dark stuff is for the plant beds...spread that some other time.

Mmmm black and tan. The tan pile should be all spread tomorrow. The dark stuff is for the plant beds…spread that some other time.

We also scoped out the place for the bee hives.  I’ll goto Lowes tomorrow and get some pavers, and maybe some gravel.  I’ll use those on top of an area I’ll clear out and then I can set my bee hive stands.

I discovered various paw prints in the back yard including some sort of dog prints.  I should buy a book or look on the internet and learn to identify them.  Or just drink beer and look at swimsuit models on Pinterest.

I was hungry during my work day this week so I went to the pantry.  With great anticipation I grabbed the graham cracker box only to find, not surprisingly considering my house mates, that we were just storing an empty box in the pantry. You know, just in case.  So distraught I sat down at the dining table and lo and behold a half eaten graham cracker.  Once the wife and kids returned home from yet another shopping adventure I inquired about said cracker and apparently it was my youngest’s.  Hmmm.  Not sure why we were storing a half eaten cracker on the table but who am I to judge.  Long story short I ate the cracker three days later. I figured the statute of limitations was up and it was fair game.

This graham cracker sat on the table for four days....

This graham cracker sat on the table for four days….

....just four days until I said enough was enough.

….just four days until I said enough was enough.

I was driving the Rabbit the other day and for what ever reason looked at the mirror adjustment switch.  Wouldn’t you know it, I have heated mirrors!  Yeah, you can switch them on and off even, say as you’re warming up the car in the winter.  For six years I’ve been scraping ice off the jellybean shaped mirrors and curing German engineering.  See kids, you’re never too old to learn new tricks.  Part of me wishes it was winter again.

After 80,000 miles I finally realize the Rabbit has switch activated heated mirrors

After 80,000 miles I finally realize the Rabbit has switch activated heated mirrors

After nearly a year, the cat finally realized she can sit on our 10" deep window sills in the sunshine.

After nearly a year, the cat finally realized she can sit on our 10″ deep window sills in the sunshine.

My blog has been around for like two years now almost, and it’s always fun to look at the stats.  It’s not popular by any scope of the imagination.  I get like twenty guests a day.  Big blogs get like two hundred thousand, so it’s obviously a labor of love and sanity maintenance.  I have reached people in 104 different countries which is really cool.  And I have like twenty or thirty regular followers, thank you all for tuning in.

I get to see the stats showing what phrase people “googled” or searched for in order to ultimately land on my blog.  It’s usually mundane or expected topics like my most popular: screen porch design, wooden storage shelves, and my snazzy “L”-shaped shower rod install.  Each of these landed like 100 search results apiece. Then there are some more unique searches, that garner just a handful of results but help provide me with a cross-section of who I am helping out there.  Now the stats no longer show the single and “two” result inquiries so I lost a LOT of really funny searches, but here are some highlights from what I was able to see:

bucket of water – 6 results – what can I say.  I’m not sure why you’re searching the internet for a bucket of water but I’m glad you found my blog.

snake with yellow line down its back red eyelids – 4 results – what the hell?  I mean I saw a couple of snakes when we were building, but I sure as hell didn’t get close enough to see what color eyelids they had…..wait, do snakes even have eyelids?

I don’t want gutters on my metal roof what else can I do – 3 results – well, you can let all the water run off and onto the ground.  Did you really need the internet to figure that out?

diy dog proof litter box – 3 results – seriously?  Are you bummed because your dog goes to the bathroom in a litter box instead of you waking up at 6 am to walk it outside during a blizzard?  I’m not sure how I can help other than saying you should probably just have a cat.

enclosing a porch for a cat – 3 results – awe, more power to you.  We should all have cats, and all cats should have a porch.  Visit my blog anytime.  Better yet send me pictures of your cats enjoying their porches.  We plan on finishing our porch this spring for our aging kitty.

ants in the attic – 8 results – I feel your pain. There are at least eight other dudes out there who’s wives convinced them that the ants that are “everywhere inside the f*cking house” are seemingly coming from the attic.  Hopefully they didn’t fall off the ladder and nearly break their neck going up there like I did.  I can’t imagine much else worse than ants in the attic.  Well maybe…

bats in the attic – 2 results – Eeeek.  I envision some woman in her pj’s at four in the morning frantically tapping away at a keyboard while her husband or boyfriend smacks the ceiling of their bedroom with a broom…”What the f*ck, I searched the internet and all I came up with is this blog where this f*cking a**hole is talking about his feelings and recycled insulation……oh wait, I love the color of their bedroom though….what is that, lemon grass?“.

Ok, my beer is empty and my kid is finally wearing down in the background (tonight he invented a song and sang it at the top of his lungs for at least twenty minutes).  Stay good people, and if not don’t call me to bail you out, at least not until Monday.

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