Things are sort of spiraling around here. We see no end to Winter in sight. Today I awoke to -9 degrees while wrestling the trash into the Rabbit and then coaxing the car to start. Everything is still blanketed in white. At least the sun came out. By afternoon though the snow and ice on the roof were melting. Every once in a while a large pile of snow and ice would fall off the roof, onto our delicate little frozen hydrangea and new jersey tea plants. Sadness.
I’m just assuming the bees are dead. I’m no expert but no way they can survive this much cold. It’s not being pessimistic, just realistic.
Being realistic is the prudent thing to do around here. And the reality is that it’s been a long cold, slow Winter. This is pretty much rock bottom. The only way to go is up.
Instead of spinning my wheels waiting for the phone to ring, I pulled the wraps off of a 3×3 canvas and prepared it for painting on Tuesday. It was nice to get back in the studio. Painting was something that I have put off for most of the last year. Since losing my job I’ve been focused on eking out a living. Any minute not spent working or trying to find work was a guilt ridden minute devoid of any interest in what I used to enjoy. When you’ve got a nerfy 9-5 gig, you spend time worrying about what you’re going to do Friday night, or if some dress makes you look fat. When you work for yourself you make graphed spread sheets predicting whether the money or beer will run out first. Not being negative, just realistic.
Picking up a paint brush basically allows me to say “f*ck it” and do something I used to enjoy. There’s an abstract art show coming up and the application is due in March. This painting will be for that. Should be a nice piece and I may finally get something into this particular art center; my wife always get in. Me, not so much.
In an effort to clean out the basement and my studio I started selling off, on ebay, worldly possessions that were taking up space. People apparently like dead stuff because so far I’ve sold a reindeer pelt, deer antlers and shark jaws. I’ve made $41 with 3 days to go. While I had my studio set up to take ebay photographs, Dixon invited himself to his own impromptu photo shoot:
Elsewhere on the home front we just found out that we’ll have a camera crew here next week to shoot a segment on the wife and her art. Which is just another layer of stress as our studios are not in any shape to be seen by the general public. We’ve got a handful of days to turn her studio from what looks like an episode of ‘Hoarders‘ to something that is relatively arty and creative looking.
Speaking of arty I’ve also been taking time off from clicking the receive mail button on my computer to spend time drawing with my kids. Here is a picture of a dinosaur I drew, I’m going to hang it on the fridge:
It was fun to break out the crayons and just draw again. I’ve had enough of stressing out about life and work. When the money runs out, you know what? We’ll sell the house and move to a smaller one. Or move to another state. Or buy a trailer. Or maybe even one of those RV’s and travel around selling dinosaur crayon pictures out of the back. I’m not going to worry about it. Like the cliché goes: everything happens for a reason. Well I think they can take that cliché and shove it up their ass, but I have learned a few new tricks and learned a lot about myself in the last year. I’m not going to wait around for someone to give me permission to fail or succeed.
Today was a day. So was yesterday and tomorrow will be too. Anymore they all run together. And I don’t give a rats ass about what I’m doing this Friday after work. All I know is a black furry alarm clock will wake me up at 6am and I’ll have another day ahead of me to do what I want. Some days I’ll win. Most days I’ll lose. But I’ll fight my battles, not someone else’s. And I’ll live my life. I’m not being dramatic, just realistic.
I’ve got happy kids, happy cats…and who knows maybe the wife’s art will take off and I can retire early. 😉 I’ll leave you with a pic of Daisy. She’s getting big, but still thin as a rail. Be good people. And live your life.